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Reclaim Your Power From Anger

Linda-Ann Stewart

Hallie prided herself on holding grudges. She never forgave anyone for any real or imagined slight. Once someone had offended her, she'd cut them out of her life. This attitude caused her to be exhausted, and negatively affected her health and her relationships.

Anger is a survival instinct that lets you know that some right has been violated. When you get angry with someone, it provides protection so that the other person will think twice about acting like that again. Once the situation has been dealt with, it has fulfilled its purpose and anger fades away.

However, if you continue to hold onto your anger, like Hallie, you're trying to protect yourself against a threat that no longer exists. Anger then twists into hostility, a bubbling cauldron of antagonism. Studies have shown that hostility depresses the immune system and harms cardiovascular function.

Antagonism ties up energy that could be used for something productive. This affects you physically with increased stress, tense muscles, an upset stomach, and shallow breathing. It also ruins relationships and contributes to the self-destructive habits of smoking, drinking, overeating, and others.

Anger is energy. As long as it's moving and released, it can actually help make constructive changes. But if it gets stuck, it turns to hostility and becomes a black hole that sucks in more energy.

When you're angry, your mind functions at much less than your normal potential. Chronic anger greatly reduces your ability to think, make decisions and tap into creativity.

If you hold a grudge, like Hallie, you're trying to control a situation that's in the past. Itís a reaction against feeling helpless, but it keeps you in a victim cycle. You're letting the past rule how you feel and act. You might think it makes you stronger and more powerful than the other person. Instead, you've just handed control of your emotions over to them.

They may no longer even think of you, but they're still very much a part of your thoughts. Maybe you're trying to punish them. But you're not hurting them at all. The only person it's harming is you. You may think that you're protecting yourself, but you're actually keeping yourself immobile, unable to learn from a situation and move forward.

As long as you continue to be angry, you're holding that person and situation to you like glue. The relationship or situation isn't over for you. Every time you think of it, your subconscious thinks it's happening all over again and it revs up your anger all over again.

It's time to reclaim the power you've given away. Don't let a past situation govern your life or choices any longer. You can't control others or what they do.They have their own opinions and perceptions that may not agree with yours. And you don't want the thought of them to continue to affect you and your emotions.

Realize that anyone who upset you probably didn't target you personally. They may not have hurt you deliberately. Even if they attacked you, they might have just randomly picked you as a the target of their hostility. Maybe you accidentally triggered a sensitive area for them. Who knows?

When you get angry, mentally step back and reassess. You can then make rational choices instead of reactionary ones. You can decide what's best for you in the long run. Lashing out and making snide remarks wonít resolve the situation and will probably make it worse. When you're able to stay cool, you're in control of yourself and the situation. You can stand up for yourself, and for your rights, calmly.

Decide what you need to learn from the circumstance. Should you trust them less, not let them so close, or were you expecting them to be different from who they are? Whatever the lesson, as long as you remember it, you can fulfill the purpose of why you got upset. Establish boundaries and decide how much contact you want with this person.

Hallie was a very unhappy woman. Only when you're willing to let go of your anger do you have the space to allow happiness in. Peace of mind, empowerment, health and harmony reward you when you learn the lesson from anger and resolve it. Your mind is then able to expand to a greater level of its potential.

Copyright © 2009-2023 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved

As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, freedom, wellbeing and prosperity. Watch her FREE training video on Set Your Course to Success: 4 steps to strategically achieve your goals with confidence and ease. Register for the video and accompanying action planning guide at You can contact her at or 928-600-0452.


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