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What Are You Holding Onto That's Holding You Back?

Linda-Ann Stewart

Kay had been unsuccessfully searching for a job for over a year. Unfortunately, her choices were limited because she had only minimal computer skills and didn't want to learn any more. Finally, one night she capitulated. "Fine. If I have to learn to work with computers to get a job, I'll do it." Within a week, she'd found a job and needed only minor computer skills for it. But she didn't find the job until she let go of resistance that was limiting her choices.

When you're stuck in place, and not making any progress, you may need to release something that you're hanging onto with all your might. It may be an idea, belief, attitude, role, relationship or outdated image of yourself. You may not even be aware of what it is. But it's blocked the flow of your life. Here are some things to consider if your life isn't moving forward like you want it to.

1. Is your image of how a situation "should" or "ought to" be constricting you? Have you placed conditions on what you will and won't do? As long as you're trying to direct the way circumstances unfold, you're blocking the flow of energy. It can be scary to release your preconceptions, because you don't know what the results will look like. But you can't control them anyway, and trying to do so is getting in the way.

2. Many times, you need to release a lesser desire for a greater reward. For instance, it's easier to lounge on the sofa than it is to get up and exercise. But the outcome from the activity has so many benefits. To receive them, you have to let go of your short-term comfort to achieve long-term goals. Or you may need to cut an old friend loose if their negative attitude is affecting yours thus making room for someone who is more positive.

3. If you're stuck, consider what idea, belief or attitude might be holding you back. Just as Kay was attached to her hatred of computers, you may be reluctant to let go of some long-held idea. The concept may not even be about the area you want to move toward. But it's some unreasonable condition you're clinging to that you've placed on your life. It could be a role or self-image, such as "Managers don't do filing," "I can't lead meetings" or "I'm not good enough." Whatever it is, the idea isn't serving you any more, and you need to let it go to move forward.

4. Clean out drawers and closets. Find the stuff you no longer need or use and donate it, give it away, or hold a garage sale. This helps to get energy moving because you're doing something. And you're cleansing outdated items and associations out of your life. It clears up emotional and physical space for you as you get the items out of your house. And it creates a mental vacuum for more good to come in.

5. Ask yourself, "What am I holding onto the hardest?" or "What am I resisting letting go of the most?" It may not be the idea itself that's restricting you. It's the energy you're using to hold onto it that's created the block. Kay didn't need computer skills for the job she got, she just needed to open her mind to the possibility. If you refuse to move forward in one area, other areas have a hard time expanding, too.

Life is about expansion and flow. It's like a river, always trying to move you forward. However, if you want to go "tubing" down a river, but you're hanging onto a rock, you won't get very far, and you'll never flow downstream to a greater good.

Copyright © 2009-2023 Linda Ann Stewart
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As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, freedom, wellbeing and prosperity. Register for her FREE Design Your Best Day guide and guided meditation at You can contact her at or 928-600-0452.


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