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Are Your Expectations Realistic?

Linda-Ann Stewart

Many years ago, Julie came to me to use hypnotherapy for weight loss. As we talked about what she wanted, I discovered that she had unrealistic expectations about what hypnosis could do for her. She didn't want to reduce the amount or kind of food she ate, or exercise. Instead, she expected hypnosis to magically speed up her metabolism so she could continue to eat the way she always had and still lose weight.

She went on to explain that she just wanted to eat normal portions. When I asked what she considered those to be, she said, "What you get in a restaurant." Since restaurants serve hearty portions that would put weight on almost anyone, it was unrealistic that she'd be able to reduce weight if she continued to eat that way.

Are your goals realistic or are they fantasies that could only have a one in ten million chance of coming true? For instance, are you hoping you can dig yourself out of debt by winning the lottery? It happens occasionally, but it's highly unlikely to happen to you.

Or do you want to attract customers without doing any marketing? Marketing enables your product or service to be visible and lets customers know what you offer. If they don't know about you, they can't become customers and you never make sales.

Do you expect people to treat you with respect when you don't treat yourself that way? Life tends to treat us the way we treat ourselves. When you don't value yourself, then others are going to take that as a cue to take advantage of you.

Would you expect to play piano without training or rehearsal? Or be a basketball superstar without practice? Except in rare savant or genius instances, you need to cultivate a talent, skill or ability. It doesn't happen in a week or a month, but over time.

When you have a goal, first you need to decide how realistic it is. If you don't honestly believe it's credible, then your subconscious mind will ignore it. Your inner mind follows the lead of your conscious mind. Unless you actually believe you can reach your goal, then your subconscious won't waste its energy on it.

The next thing you need to do is to commit yourself to whatever it takes to accomplish your desire. This level of intention gets the attention and cooperation of your subconscious mind. It realizes that you wouldn't be this focused if you didn't mean it.

Then, break your goal down into small steps. Make sure each one is believable and achievable. Divide it into even smaller components if you don't think a step can be easily accomplished.

If you're a couch potato, it's within reason to conceive of walking five minutes a day and then increase the amount a little bit each week. But if you'd decided to go from the couch to training for a marathon, that would be overwhelming and you'd probably give up.

In the last stage, you dedicate yourself to take a step each day that helps you move in the direction of your goal. Again, taking action convinces the subconscious that you really do want your desire. This helps to dissolve any inner conflicts you may have.

When Julie discovered that she'd have to change her behaviors to reach her goal of weight reduction, she decided not to continue with hypnotherapy. She wasn't dedicated enough to achieve her goal.

As they say, "Rome wasn't built in a day." A building needs plans, a foundation, walls, roof, wiring, plumbing, and so forth. Without any of these, the structure is unlivable and may collapse. And, in general, plans need to be done in a specific order. The same is true of any change you want in your life. You'll need to work on it, realistic brick by brick, until you have the structure you want.

Copyright © 2009-2023 Linda Ann Stewart
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As a focus coach, hypnotherapist, and speaker, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, freedom, wellbeing and prosperity. Register for her FREE Design Your Best Day guide and guided meditation at You can contact her at or 928-600-0452.


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