|
When to Practice Goodwill, and When Not To
by Linda-Ann Stewart
In my last article, I wrote about The Power of Goodwill, describing the benefits for you and others. However, having goodwill towards others doesn't mean that you passively tolerate whatever treatment comes your way. Instead, when you practice goodwill, you initially choose to believe that the other person's intentions are positive in some way. At least, at first.
Don't Jump to Conclusions
When someone distresses you, it can be challenging to practice goodwill. When someone upsets you, it's normal to go on the defensive to protect yourself. But it may not be necessary. Before you jump to a conclusion, realize something else may be going on.
For instance, if you love the color blue, and they say they hate that color, don't take it personally. It's just their opinion. Don't try to be a mind reader and assume they're calling your taste into question. In other situations, it's possible you misunderstood their actions or meaning, or they misunderstood yours. Pay attention to their other actions to determine if their motives are benign, or not.
When People Have Malicious Intentions
But there are exceptions. When you recognize someone is attacking or trying to take advantage of you, their intention is destructive. In that case, your goodwill would be encouraging bad behavior. And that would be counterproductive for you and could make things worse.
For years, someone I knew constantly, good-naturedly, needled me. But, as time went on, it wasn't mischievous any longer, but was increasingly malicious. I could no longer attribute positive intentions to that person. As a result, I cut off all contact with them. I wasn't angry, and I wish the person well. I just choose not to tolerate their escalating abuse.
What to Do
As much as you can, disengage from someone who is negative or whose motives are detrimental. If you can't separate from them physically, do it emotionally. They've put themselves outside of your zone of forbearance. And you don't owe them an explanation as to why you've distanced yourself. They probably know why. Realize that they have their issues, and they've been taking them out on you. But you're not obliged to remain their target. It wouldn't help either of you.
When you assert your boundaries, and protect your peace, you're practicing goodwill towards yourself. This will build your sense of self-worth and serenity. By doing so, you'll create a well of strength and calmness to draw from for the future.
Copyright © 2009-2026 Linda Ann Stewart
All Rights Reserved
As a focus mentor, hypnotherapist, and writer, Linda-Ann Stewart motivates women to focus and transform their business through deliberate actions that break through distraction and overwhelm to greater success, freedom, wellbeing and prosperity. Register for her FREE Design Your Best Day guide and guided meditation at www.Linda-AnnStewart.com/guide.html. You can contact her at LAS@Linda-AnnStewart.com or 928-600-0452.
|
